Check Out what one Birth Mother started over 11 years ago to help her heal. Awesome Non-Profit. You will be blessed and touched by her story, and her on going blessings she has bestowed through Birth Mother Baskets.
Birth Mothers Unite Blog - Website address: www.birthmothersunite.com We have been here since 2001. It is a safe haven for Birthmothers, Birth Parents, To support each other through pre and post-adoption placement. Resources, Healing of Post Adoption Grief
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Saturday, August 13, 2011
Birth Mother Baskets
Check Out what one Birth Mother started over 11 years ago to help her heal. Awesome Non-Profit. You will be blessed and touched by her story, and her on going blessings she has bestowed through Birth Mother Baskets.
Reunion - Okay we've found each other, NOW WHAT?
Reunion is very complex. If you have been reunited with your birth child, You very well know what I am talking about. Even when both parties want to be found. The searcher is on a hunt. Not knowing if the Birth Mother, Or Birth Parents or Adoptee wants to be found. Or if the adoptee even knows that they were adopted. Or visa a versa, that they very much have always needed and wanted to be found! I heard it from my own birth daughter. That she needed to feel complete. She felt complete once she got to reunite with me. I was the missing link.
Adoption was societies way of fixing Crisis Pregnancies, unwed mothers shame. What a high price to have to pay for sin. Adoption in my opinion should be a last resort. Here is how I prioritize a Crisis Pregnancy. The Child's welfare comes first! Mother and Child should only be separated, If she does not have the ability to meet the babies needs. Emotionally, Physically, and Spiritually. Now if this Mother is not financially stable. With family support, and community support she can get on her feet. I myself believe in a two parent family. Married. But we all know that that is not what happens often in Crisis Pregnancies.
Reunion - You have the first phone call, That's enough to throw you over the edge! I was on a roller coaster high for days on end! Then comes that first FACE TO FACE. Over whelming is it for a Birthmother in closed adoption. For the last time she saw her baby, If she got to see it at all, it was just that a tiny little precious baby. Then standing before you is a grown Adult. It's very traumatic, yet exhilarating at the same time! You have the honey moon period. Trying to grasp and grab and catch up on the years missed in between. Then comes the time for you both to settle into the relationship. Get back to real LIFE and living with your birth child in it, and them living with their new extended family.
Some reunions will flourish. Some will deteriorate as fast as they developed. Some will be separated by so many miles that it is hard to have a solid close relationship. As my bdaughter lives 1900 miles from me. But we do the best we can, through emails, and cards, and phone calls.
I often get asked when I work with a family in reunion and in the early stages of the reunion. On - Either the Adoptee or Birth Mother will be having alot of anxiety and what if's. In extreme anxiety states, trying to figure the other out. What will their reunion be like. I always tell them I don't have a crystal ball. I don't have a magic wand. I can only tell you to be honest and open with each other. For I believe that the TRUTH in all things will secure the relationship for long term.
My advice is to pre-pare prior to searching. Then also the big KEY to the relationship is ACCEPTANCE and Boundaries. Always when talking with each other if any discord arises. Start your sentences with I feel. Not you made me feel blah, blah, blah. I feel this when ____ happens. I feel ____. Then allow the other to respond. Allow each other freedom to be who, and whom they are. With our family of orgin, or raised children we have to LET them grow, expand, test the waters. Each individual born to us. Just came through us. They will have genetic traits sure. But we all are so unique. Personality wise and much more. I found it unique that my bdaughter laughs like me when she is really tickled and laughs like her bio father when she is just a little tickled. Like I said the key in a reunion is Acceptance and respect. Good luck. I wish you well, All in the triad must work together to make this work.
Adoption was societies way of fixing Crisis Pregnancies, unwed mothers shame. What a high price to have to pay for sin. Adoption in my opinion should be a last resort. Here is how I prioritize a Crisis Pregnancy. The Child's welfare comes first! Mother and Child should only be separated, If she does not have the ability to meet the babies needs. Emotionally, Physically, and Spiritually. Now if this Mother is not financially stable. With family support, and community support she can get on her feet. I myself believe in a two parent family. Married. But we all know that that is not what happens often in Crisis Pregnancies.
Reunion - You have the first phone call, That's enough to throw you over the edge! I was on a roller coaster high for days on end! Then comes that first FACE TO FACE. Over whelming is it for a Birthmother in closed adoption. For the last time she saw her baby, If she got to see it at all, it was just that a tiny little precious baby. Then standing before you is a grown Adult. It's very traumatic, yet exhilarating at the same time! You have the honey moon period. Trying to grasp and grab and catch up on the years missed in between. Then comes the time for you both to settle into the relationship. Get back to real LIFE and living with your birth child in it, and them living with their new extended family.
Some reunions will flourish. Some will deteriorate as fast as they developed. Some will be separated by so many miles that it is hard to have a solid close relationship. As my bdaughter lives 1900 miles from me. But we do the best we can, through emails, and cards, and phone calls.
I often get asked when I work with a family in reunion and in the early stages of the reunion. On - Either the Adoptee or Birth Mother will be having alot of anxiety and what if's. In extreme anxiety states, trying to figure the other out. What will their reunion be like. I always tell them I don't have a crystal ball. I don't have a magic wand. I can only tell you to be honest and open with each other. For I believe that the TRUTH in all things will secure the relationship for long term.
My advice is to pre-pare prior to searching. Then also the big KEY to the relationship is ACCEPTANCE and Boundaries. Always when talking with each other if any discord arises. Start your sentences with I feel. Not you made me feel blah, blah, blah. I feel this when ____ happens. I feel ____. Then allow the other to respond. Allow each other freedom to be who, and whom they are. With our family of orgin, or raised children we have to LET them grow, expand, test the waters. Each individual born to us. Just came through us. They will have genetic traits sure. But we all are so unique. Personality wise and much more. I found it unique that my bdaughter laughs like me when she is really tickled and laughs like her bio father when she is just a little tickled. Like I said the key in a reunion is Acceptance and respect. Good luck. I wish you well, All in the triad must work together to make this work.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Love One Another
How hard is it to Love One Another?? The Bible says - God's true words say:
Romans 13:8 "Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another;for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law."
Why does society make it so hard. It's so simple to LOVE, much easier is it to love than to harbor resentments, hate, bitterness. For anyone that does not love, that even does not love their enemies. That is the one that suffers. For as Christians. We are to be CHRIST LIFE. For when we accepted Christ as our Lord and Savior he then began living inside of US. We became ONE.
Reunited -Even in Adoption, I would love to see the triad. Especially in closed adoptions to be more open. Open with each other, sharing. Not fearing. Sharing from their hearts the child that you both love the child that was adopted that has more than one MOTHER and more than one FATHER. Just because a Birth Mother or Birth Parent transfers parental rights. We still are their first parents. With great LOVE My prayer is that the triad start working together in post reunion for the benefit of the adoptee. God can move mountains, It is my belief that God can heal any thing If we JUST LOVE ONE ANOTHER! It's simple! He makes it simple.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
As I Walk Through LIFE
As I Walk Through Life
I've learned-
that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.
I've learned-
that you should always leave
loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned-
that you can keep going long after you can't.
I've learned-
that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.
I've learned-
that either you control your
attitude or it controls you.
I've learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I've learned-
that my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned-
that sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be
angry, but that doesn't give me
the right to be cruel.
I've learned-
that just because someone doesn't love you the
way you want them to doesn't mean they
don't love you with all they have.
I've learned-
that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once
in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned-
that it isn't always enough to
be forgiven by others,
Sometimes you have to learn
to forgive yourself.
I've learned-
that just because two people argue, it doesn't
mean they don't love each other.
I've learned-
that two people can look at
the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
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