As I was getting ready to go Worship Christ Jesus this Mother's Day morn. I went into my bedroom to put on a bracelet that I have had specially made that is dedicated to my birth daughter. It was ironic that my husband said, Lucy did you read the front page of the news paper. I said no what's on it. He said it's about adoption. Open adoption. He said the head lines read THE BIGGEST GIFT!!! I said wow! That is so very true. I have always felt that I was chosen to carry my precious birth daughter for her now family. All though my adoption was a closed adoption. We were fortunate to find each other 18 1/2 years later through http://www.adoption.com/ website reunion registry. I know many birth mothers have a hard time at MOTHERS Day even if they have other children. The longing for that placed child for many is very emotionally hard on them at this time of year. I know it was for me for many years. Now with anything in my life. I choose. Choose to see the positive, I now instead of feeling sadness, longing, LOSS and grief. My feelings are now filled with God's peace and joy. For when I found out that I was in a crisis pregnancy and unwed just following my divorce. Went to Jesus, I asked him what was I to do. His answer came quick. He said "Trust in me Lucy". Just trust and obey. So every day I would seek counsel with the HIGHEST. I told him everything he already knew about me. Like I am not ready to be a Mother. Physically I was capable. Mentally I was not settled enough to be what my God given gift needed. She needed a two married parents. She needed financial stability. Love does not buy diapers, and food, and pay the rent. I was unemployed at the time of her birth. She needed most of all Christian parents. I made sure that that was known and granted by the adoption agency that I made my adoption plan with. So fast forward thirty years. I rejoice on Mother's Day. With JOY and PEACE for she has healed me by thanking me for giving her LIFE, and her family. I couldn't ask for anything more. She calls herself God's child. That she is! A beautiful God's child at that.
We Birth Mothers and Birth Parents are all at a different stage in post placement. But I promise you. If you are struggling. Do the necessary work of post placement grief work. Journal often. I know for myself that you must go through something to get to the other side. You can't go around or stuff feelings nor deny them. For they will make you physically and emotionally sick if you do.
If you need further assistance feel free to contact me.
Lucy Franklin, CPAC 1-888-803-4956
Lucy Franklin, CPAC 1-888-803-4956
