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Reunion- Adoptee Birthmother reunite w/ Adoptive parents help

http://www.facinglife.tv/episode/season_5/episode_3/episode_503_video_full.htm

Delivery Chosen

A Mothers Love - By Lucy Franklin



Today is the day that My MOTHER went to her eternal home 3 years ago in 2008.  I was blessed to have her for 49 years.  Thankful very much to God Almighty for that blessing.  Today I rejoice that she has a new body and no longer suffers. But apart of me today is sad, and very much lonely for her.  She was MY biggest cheerleader, She was one of those SUPER MOMS.  I envy her strength to this day.  One thing I could always count on about my Mother was she had a sweetness about her, Even when she had the most trouble out of me through my teen years.  She never gave up on me.  She had a relationship so strong with Jesus that she knew how to speak to me with out JUDGEMENT.  She spoke the truth with LOVE and Mercy in her precious eyes.  She never failed me. The LOVE she had for myself and two siblings was a love so pure and equal.   I could actually see Jesus's eyes through hers.  That's how much she lived the TRUE CHRISTIAN LIFE.  She was the most humble woman I have ever met.  Always put others before herself.  Not as a mortar, But as she looks down from Heaven above.  I pray that I make her proud. Of the woman she molded me into be.  As parents we have a responsibility to be our children's parents first.  Then their friends.  We must keep them safe and protect them from the evils of the world.  Today as I reflect on my longing and missing her.  I am going to choose right now to do as she would want me to do.  Remove the sadness, and fill it with MY MOTHERS LOVE.  Then for the rest of the day I will reflect on all the memories that my mind does have of a woman MY MOTHER, that lived a full blessed life.  All given to her because she trusted, she believed in

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Her Faith stood on God's promise of John 3:16. 

As a birthmom I also stand on that promise.  To someday have eternal life with my bdaughter.  For someday that she shall truly know my heart and my great LOVE for her.  More than the words that she has heard me say since being reunited.  She shall SEE for her own eyes in paradise her FIRST MOTHERS LOVE forever!

A Birthmothers Prayer

Pride





As a Christian we are Never to be Prideful. James 4:6 Says it best: It's common knowledge that "God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble."  We are to be humble and walk in humility.  Many times I have heard someone say, Or even I have said I am a PROUD Birthmother.  There is nothing wrong with saying this, For when I am saying  that, I am truly saying I was  HONORED and Humble to be the one God selected to be the carrier and vehicle to deliver such a perfect precious child of GOD.  All our children, be they our birth children that we placed with a family, or reared children we are humble as Christians to be honored to be parents or a birth parent.  My point here is to be humble in your journey in LIFE.  We live in a world desperately searching for self-esteem, We live in a world of the Me, Me, Me, syndrome!  Are you ready for more change in your life?  Change? To change as a Christian means to convert, To be more "Christ" like.  I want God on my side.  What do you need to change in your life?  I walk humbly every day with My God.  You can also for as James 4:6 tells you! God gives grace to the willing humble!  Remember he takes you right were you are, bumps, bruises, stains, and ALL!  Daily communicate with your Lord and Savior, Watch him make you sparkle and shine.  Throw out all pride, flush, that down the drain so to speak.  I like to hang out with the LOWLY like Jesus. Because I want to share my testimony with them so they too can convert. Search your heart for any UGLY, reveal it to the man that KNOWS all that see's all!  Then watch a healing manifest in you like you have never seen before.  Then share with others what HE Jesus has done for you! 

 

Today's Inspirational - Aug. 21, 2011

Today's Inspirational -Aug 20th

H.O.P.E. - Healing Of Post-Adoption Effects - Workbook By Lucy Franklin C.P.A.C.

H.O.P.E. by Lucy Franklin C.P.A.C. |

Have you recently placed your baby for adoption?  Are you having difficulty moving forward in your life.  This workbook was written for YOU!  It is a Christian workbook.  That you can work at your own pace.  For a birthmother the decision to place will be the hardest decision and lifelong experience you will ever face.  But I being a reunited birthmother and also veteran birthmother can tell you that validating, Loving yourself, and with God's Loving Grace you can have an abundant life.  Your birth child wants what you wanted, You wanted the best for them and they surely want the best for you!

Click and review this little treasure of a workbook.  Today.  It doesn't matter when you placed this little book will be a blessing to you. 

Lucy Franklin, C.P.A.C.

Two Mothers

Your First Mother Gave you your beating heart,

Your Two Mother's Both LOVED you from the very START,

Your First Mother nourished you in utero, with tender loving care,

Your two Mothers have a bond in common that they both do share!

For it is YOU, That these two MOTHERS live for each and everyday,

Your First MOTHER & Now Mother lift you up to Jesus Daily as they do pray,

Your Now Mother is molding you with all that you will need,

Honoring the First Mother's wishes letting "Jesus take the lead".

Your First Mother's heart still beats strong with great LOVE for you,

Your Now Mother's heart still beats strong with great LOVE for you tooooooooo!

It was in God's plan for you to have TWO,

Two Mother's you were blessed with to see you Through,

In all that you do!

You might not even know that First Mother YET!

But I can BET!

That she has prayed daily with all her Might,

That someday you and she would reunite!

Yes, Your First Mother Gave you your beating heart,

A very good start!

Then the one you now call MOTHER took your First Mothers part,

It was God's plan from the Very Start.

For you to have Two Mothers you see,

And a LOVING FAMILY........

By

Aug. Book Spot Light- Jesus Calling- Sarah Young 365 Day Devotional

http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Calling-Imitation-Leather-Sarah-Young/dp/B004VA0FXC/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&qid=1313777604&sr=8-10

Click the above link to purchase at http://www.amazon.com/

I have given this book as a gift to family and friends. I have been told that this little precious gift has restored them to Jesus and HEALED them physically, mentally, and most of all spiritually! A must read.  I start my day everyday with this LITTLE treasure!!! You will feel his presence LIKE NEVER BEFORE!!!!

Now what are you waiting for! Go get yours today!

Today's Inspirational - 1 Corinthians 13:12

Patience

Being a birth mom takes a lot of patience.  When I became one in 1981.  I was so young.  Didn't really know the impact of placing my bdaughter with a family would have on me.  Patience just was not my virtue. It's amazing now fast forward the journey I have had to get me to a place of understanding. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

The above Scripture is what has got me to my place of PATIENCE.  For God's LOVE has given me the strength to endure being what is often a hard thing to be a birth mom.  The First Mother.  That is often forgotten in the equation of the triad.  I have endured and with God I will continue to endure with PATIENCE and great LOVE in my HEART.  For this CHILD that I bore for another family. She is MY HEART! Will always be my HEART!

A quote I found: "Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!"
~Dieter F. Uchtdorf

To Him I seek DAILY for his word tells me:

Psalm 91

 ¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
   will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

My Book- I Called Her Precious

Coming Soon - Poetry Book- For Birth Moms, Birth Parents, The Triad

I have been blessed with the gift to write poetry.  I am working right now with a collection of my favorites,  Putting them together to richly touch your hearts and help you in your journey in Adoption and LIFE in general.  This is a Christian poetry booklet.  I am just the one that stands in the GAP.  Because I truly know that when the SPIRIT comes upon me.  The words just flow.  All glory I give to OUR LORD and Savior.  Keep watching for I shall post the link for the pocket poetry book as soon as it's published!



Feeling DOWN?

Poetry Contest

http://bmubirthmothersunite.blogspot.com/2011/08/poetry-contest.html

Today's Inspirational - Aug. 16th

Crisis Pregnancy

My choices,

I could single parent this child of mine?

Or I could place him or her with an adopted family with parents a mother and father divine,

I could get an abortion the law says its okay?

Before you make that third decision,  I ask you to the Lord do now pray!

Pregnant, unmarried, What is a girl or woman to do?

The 3 choices given seem so few!

Ask Christ Jesus on bended knee,

Listen, Listen for his plea,

The Lord gave you Life years before,

And you and this baby he so very much now does adore!

He will give you the strength to make it through,

Even if the future looks bleak or blue to you,

It seems like a crisis more than you can bear,

But right now this minute he does hear your pain and prayer,

My child, My child trust in me,

For this child you now do carry you will see!

Was always always meant to be!

So deliver this child for me to adore,

And I will remember you in the book of life that this child for me you did bore!

1/27/2009 (C) Lucy Franklin

Jesus Love

Could you imagine your life with out ever being LOVED,

People are starving for Love, seeking it  in worldly things,

Some never look for the true source of unconditional love that is pure from Heaven ABOVE,

When you look in the wrong place for love, heartache it always does bring!

Jesus's Love,

Pure, Unconditional! As a Heavenly White Dove,

Many seek love in their job success, money, or fame,

Always chasing love but not finding their lives changing just staying the same!

They so desire for their hearts to mend and heal!

Their hearts always aching sorrow is all they do feel,

Jesus has known you even prior to your conception in your Mothers womb,

It was you he was thinking OF on the Blood Stained Cross and in even in his tomb,

You he thought of always from the very START, 

So please hear him as he speaks now unto your HEART,

I Jesus with great love for you will never depart!

Though at times in your earthly LIFE.

You will endure trials and great strife,

You will wonder why and cry out unto me,

With arms open wide as big as the universe there I will be!

Though you might can not see,

Faith will let you feel my presence while you receive MY GREAT LOVE for you on bended knee!

By His Grace!

His promised words and Great LOVE He says "Yes my child you shall too someday see MY Glorious FACE!

One day, In my timing, Until then just bask in MY EVERLASTING LOVING EMBRACE!

MY Love,

IS Pure, Is Unconditional!  Straight from God in Heaven ABOVE!!!



Birth Mother Baskets

Check Out what one Birth Mother started over 11 years ago to help her heal. Awesome Non-Profit. You will be blessed and touched by her story, and her on going blessings she has bestowed through Birth Mother Baskets.

LAUGH! LOVE! LIVE LARGE! LIFE IS A GIFT! Embrace IT!

Reunion - Okay we've found each other, NOW WHAT?

     Reunion is very complex. If you have been reunited with your birth child, You very well know what I am talking about. Even when both parties want to be found.  The searcher is on a hunt.  Not knowing if the Birth Mother, Or Birth Parents or Adoptee wants to be found.  Or if the adoptee even knows that they were adopted. Or visa a versa, that they very much have always needed and wanted to be found! I heard it from my own birth daughter.  That she needed to feel complete.  She felt complete once she got to reunite with me. I was the missing link. 

    Adoption was societies way of fixing Crisis Pregnancies, unwed mothers shame.  What a high price to have to pay for sin.  Adoption in my opinion should be a last resort.  Here is how I prioritize a Crisis Pregnancy.  The Child's welfare comes  first!  Mother and Child should only be separated,  If she does not have the ability to meet the babies needs.  Emotionally, Physically, and Spiritually.  Now if this Mother is not financially stable. With family support, and community support she can get on her feet. I myself believe in a two parent family. Married. But we all know that that is not what happens often in Crisis Pregnancies.  

Reunion - You have the first phone call, That's enough to throw you over the edge! I was on a roller coaster high for days on end! Then comes that first FACE TO FACE.  Over whelming is it for a Birthmother in closed adoption.  For the last time she saw her baby, If she got to see it at all, it was just that a tiny little precious baby.  Then standing before you is a grown Adult.  It's very traumatic, yet exhilarating at the same time! You have the honey moon period.  Trying to grasp and grab and catch up on the years missed in between.  Then comes the  time for you  both to settle into the relationship.  Get back to real LIFE and living with your birth child in it, and them living with their new extended family.

Some reunions will flourish.  Some will deteriorate as fast as they developed.  Some will be separated by so many miles that it is hard to have a solid close relationship.   As my bdaughter lives 1900 miles from me.   But we do the best we can, through emails, and cards, and phone calls.  

I often get asked when I work with a family in reunion and in the early stages of the reunion.  On - Either the Adoptee or Birth Mother will be having alot of anxiety and what if's.  In extreme anxiety states, trying to figure the other out.  What will their reunion be like.  I always tell them I don't have a crystal ball.  I don't have a magic wand.  I can only tell you to be honest and open with each other.  For I believe that the TRUTH in all things will secure the relationship for long term.

My advice is to pre-pare prior to searching.  Then also the big KEY to the relationship is ACCEPTANCE and Boundaries.  Always when talking with each other if any discord arises.  Start your sentences with I feel.  Not you made me feel blah, blah, blah.  I feel this when ____ happens. I feel ____.  Then allow the other to respond.  Allow each other freedom to be who, and whom they are.  With our family of orgin, or raised children we have to LET them grow, expand, test the waters.  Each individual born to us.  Just came through us.  They will have genetic traits sure.  But we all are so unique.  Personality wise and much more.  I found it unique that my bdaughter laughs like me when she is really tickled and laughs like her bio father when she is just a little tickled.  Like I said the key in a reunion is Acceptance and respect.   Good luck.  I wish you well, All in the triad must work together to make this work. 

Love One Another

How hard is it to Love One Another??  The Bible says - God's true words say:


Romans 13:8 "Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another;for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law."


Why does society make it so hard.  It's so simple to LOVE, much easier is it to love than to harbor resentments, hate, bitterness.  For anyone that does not love, that even does not love their enemies.  That is the one that suffers.  For as Christians.  We are to be CHRIST LIFE.  For when we accepted Christ as our Lord and Savior he then began living inside of US.  We became ONE. 


Reunited -Even in Adoption, I would love to see the triad.  Especially in closed adoptions to be more open.  Open with each other, sharing.  Not fearing.  Sharing from their hearts the child that you both love the child that was adopted that has more than one MOTHER and more than one FATHER.  Just because a Birth Mother or Birth Parent transfers parental rights.  We still are their first parents.  With great LOVE My prayer is that the triad start working together in post reunion for the benefit of the adoptee.  God can move mountains, It is my belief that God can heal any thing If we JUST LOVE ONE ANOTHER! It's simple! He makes it simple.

  

Today's Inspirational - Aug. 11 2011

As I Walk Through LIFE

As I Walk Through Life


I've learned-
that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.



I've learned-
that you should always leave
loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.



I've learned-
that you can keep going long after you can't.


I've learned-
that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.



I've learned-
that either you control your
attitude or it controls you.



I've learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.



I've learned-
that my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.



I've learned-
that sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be
angry, but that doesn't give me
the right to be cruel.



I've learned-
that just because someone doesn't love you the
way you want them to doesn't mean they
don't love you with all they have.



I've learned-
that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once
in a while and you must forgive them for that.



I've learned-
that it isn't always enough to
be forgiven by others,
Sometimes you have to learn
to forgive yourself.



I've learned-
that just because two people argue, it doesn't
mean they don't love each other.



I've learned-
that two people can look at
the exact same thing
and see something totally different.

Today's Inspirational - Aug. 9th

BirthMothersUnite Support,Resources,Poetry, Testimonials and Much More

BirthMothersUnite.Com Started in 2001, The founder Lucy Franklin, C.P.A.C.  Created BirthMothersUnite, To be a safe haven for all Birthmothers and Birth Parents.  To be informative and bring support to them pre-adoption and post-adoption.  No one wants to find themselves in a Crisis Pregnancy.  I can tell you this that know one truly understands us like we ourselves.  So please be sure to check out our website at http://www.birthmothersunite.com/

Sincerely, Lucy Franklin, C.P.A.C.

Time

Time

Can time heal these scars that are driven so deep in my heart?

Can time heal the long separation that we've had apart?

Time,

One minute, One hour, One more day,

All I had was you Jesus,

Jesus, I knew you always heard me pray and took in all that I had to say,

Time,

Lord, you saw each tear from my eye fall,

Lord, you saw me on the floor so depressed,

Barely could I even crawl,

Time,

As this time did go by,

Even though I did not understand why?

You did Lord, You carried me through each and every trial,

Time!

In your Time,

You turned my frowns, Into a smile!

Time,

Softly, in your timing, You removed the scars!

Finally with you I escaped from my own prison bars!

Time,

All we all have is Time!

Thank you Lord for its by your shed  blood I am saved and will NOT BE left behind!

In your time!

Lord my God you will see me through!

To someday live where there is NO TIME (Infinity), Eternally with YOU!

( Yes he has healed me! Took some time! But with a deep

relationship and trusting in his word.  I have been healed.)



Labor Of Love - Poem - By Lucy Franklin

 

Labor Of Love

My Labor of  Love was all for you!

For nine precious months it was all I could do!

I nurtured you in the comfort of my womb,

While you played, tumbled, sucked your thumb and divinely grew, with plenty of expanding room!

My Labor Of Love,

Came from my heart, My soul and heaven up ABOVE!

For it was God almighty that kept me strong,

For I knew my Labor of Love would be LIFELONG!

I loved my baby from the start,

I never wanted for she and I to be apart,

But with great courage, I made an adoption plan!

A Labor of Love, That only another Birth Mother or Birth Parent could understand!

Yes a Birth Mothers, Birth Parents actions are truly a Labor of LOVE!

We are chosen by God Almighty in Heaven Above.

The Labor of LOVE,

That I possessed!

I know that she was truly God given, I was truly blessed!

The Labor of Love,

Did not end with her birth!

For I will carry that Labor of Love till the end of time on this earth!

         Copy Right Protected  8/3/2011   
My Lil Labor Of Love Below

Today's Inspirational - Aug. 7th

My Story

My Story

The year is 1980 and I am going through a divorce and in financial ruins.  Bad enough I am going through a divorce, Then I find out I am pregnant.  Crisis pregnancy!!  I honestly go into denial, But how do you deny that you have a precious living being growing inside of you and your body is changing rapidly, emotionally and physically.  I had to move back in with my parents.  That depressed me, Not that I didn't love them.  I just felt like a big failure.  My marriage failed, Now this.  As hard as it is to say.  I was not ready to be a MOTHER!  I am thankful that I was aware of that about myself.  I honestly didn't know up till my sixth month of pregnancy what I would do.  That's when I contacted the Catholic Charities Adoption Agency in my hometown.   I met with a counselor that helped me through the process of making a adoption plan.  I weighed the options, Single parent.  Or placement.  My heart wanted to RUN with her once she was born.  But my sane logical mind told my heart what was best for "MY PRECIOUS" as I called her.  See she deserved the BEST! I had the best growing up.  Two married parents.  That provided for me very well.  They met all my physical, emotional, and Spiritual needs.  I wanted this for her.  So that's why I worked on a adoption plan that even though it was a closed adoption.  I had a say so in the adoption.  That she would be adopted by a Christian family.  Her parents would raise her to KNOW JESUS.  They would have to be financially strong.  I prayed over this plan for months on end. 

When my daughter was born, I spent three days in the hospital with her.  I changed her little diaper, I sang to her, I cuddled her to my breast.  Through my tears I had long talks with her.  She cooed and peered at me with her deep big brown eyes and coal black hair of silk!  She was gorgeous!  Perfect in every way!  I asked God to bless me with a healthy baby.  He did.  I asked God to help me go through with the adoption plan.  For I needed his divine strength, grace and love and MERCY.  To help me do it.   For my heart wanted to RUN with her! 

I even asked God to let me see her again in the future before I die.  He answered that prior also!  He didn't make me wait long neither.  That prayer was answered just prior to her 19th birthday.
 

We both had placed our information in www.adoption.com  in the reunion registry.  One night I got to snooping around on that site.  Boy was I ever so glad that I did! Because what I found literally made me fall out of my office chair!!! She was there, searching for ME!  To make a long story short.  I got the contact info called her, and now 11 years later and 2 face to faces.  Lots of calls, and emails.  We are still reunited and loving every moment of God's rich blessings!  She has had the LIFE that I wanted for her.  She is a gentle spirit, full of LOVE.  She has got her college degree in education and is now going on to get her masters.  I am blessed.  I am thankful for God selecting ME to help make a family complete. 

Featured Open Adoption Story for August: Meet Hope

In March of 2004, I turned 39.  A few weeks after my birthday, I found out I was pregnant.  This was not something I wanted, and certainly was not prepared for.  I am a type 1 diabetic and had decided as a teenager that I did not want to have children because of my fear of passing along this disease.  Also, I did not feel that I had had good parenting skills taught to me by my own parents, and did not feel raising a child was in my best interest or the child.  I contemplated abortion for a few days.  I cried and prayed and cried some more.  I was brought up in a Christian home, albeit a very dysfunctional one.  Still I knew what I believed and I did not feel God would make exceptions for me in the area of abortion.  I got on my computer and looked up abortion.  I really didn't know much about it, how it was done, etc.  As I read the information, all I could do was cry.  My heart was telling me "no way", and my head was not far behind.  Although I was very frightened of the thought of being pregnant and carrying a baby to term, I knew that abortion was not for me.  I no longer had a relationship with the biological father (that in itself was a miracle, and if you want to email me, I can tell you that story), so he was not in the decision making process.  I had some girlfriends were were there with me right from the beginning - pretty much from the moment I found out for sure I was pregnant and how far along I was.  My family was not so supportive, so I thanked God daily for my friends who were there for me, caring for me, talking with me, gently and tenderly holding my hand and helping me through the process. 

As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I fell on my face before God  (email me for more details if you want to know why).  I felt a sense of peace come over me.  I had prayed for the strength to have this child, the strength to endure whatever scorn and ridicule I might face, and I had prayed - most of all - for God to give me a love for this child.  I didn't know if I could love this baby growing inside me.  I was afraid I couldn't.  I needed God to help me to take care of myself, to go to the doctor to keep control of the diabetes and to cause as little harm to this baby as possible because of this disease.  I was referred to wonderful specialists who really helped me to take as good of care of myself and my baby as possible.  They were God-sent, I believe! 

I began my search for an adoption agency very soon after finding out I was pregnant.  I knew this was the only answer for me.  It didn't take me long to find an agency - online no less - and begin the process.  They were wonderful, gentle, loving women at this agency who told me over and over again what a wonderful thing I was doing, how blessed I would be for bringing life to this child, etc, etc.  I didn't feel very blessed at the time, but I now know that those women knew what they were talking about!   I was led through the process of paperwork and such.  I was told about the profiles that were posted online and how to access them.  What an overwhelming process at first!  Finally, I knew I needed some major help with this process, so I prayed and asked God to help me figure out a way of sorting through all these couples.  I wanted to place my baby with every one of them!  God gave me the idea of writing down what I wanted for my child:  I chose a few things and went back to my search.  I wanted a couple who lived in a mild climate, who were dog lovers like me, who were devoted born-again Christians.  Those were really the major criteria.  I very quickly - within a few weeks - found this couple.  I had seen their profile online at the agency website, and then when one of the women from the agency mailed me some profiles to look through, there was this couple's profile again!  After praying about it, I knew this was the couple I was meant to place my baby with. 

I was doing my best to keep up with my work and my social life and my health issues.  I really thank God for how He helped me through this time.  I actually got married when i was about 5 months along (that is a very long story, and I will not go into the details here, but i will tell you I did not marry the biological father of the baby).  My new husband was also a God-send.  He took such good care of me and respected my decision to place my baby for adoption.  He was there in the delivery room with me, too!  He was fascinated with the whole process. 

As the months went on, I did begin to have some medical complications.  I was swollen literally from my toes up to my belly.  I lived in a very warm climate and it was the summer time, so I spent a lot of time in the pool at the apartment complex I lived at, and I spent the rest of the time in my air conditioned apartment with my feet propped up!  I had also noticed my vision had changed, so I went to my eye specialist to have this checked out.  He said it was not uncommon for pregnant women to have vision changes and often the changes went back to normal once the baby was born.  This would not be the case with me, however. 

I had gotten to talk to the prospective adoptive parents on the telephone and we hit it off wonderfully!  We had much in common, and I could tell they would be terrific parents.  They had been praying for many years for a child, and God had placed it in their hearts to adopt a child.  As we got to know each other over the next couuple of months and compared stories of the time leading up to our meeting, it was amazing to all of us how God had orchestrated our coming together!  We were meant to be!  They were not at all judgmental of me or my situation, and just wanted me to know how much they would love this baby, no matter what. 

When it came to the time when most pregnant women will have their baby's tested for Down's syndrome, I asked the nurse what could be done if the tests came back positive.  She told me - very coldly and with no emotion - "well, you just terminate the pregnancy, that's all."  I told her I would have to think about the test and get back to her.  I went home that day from the doctor's office crying and praying.  I really didn't know what to do.  God led me to call the adoptive parents and ask them if they wanted to know if the baby would have Down's syndrome or not.  They said that the decision was mine, but they did not care what the test results would be - they already loved this baby and wanted to be his/her adoptive parents no matter what.  Well, that's all I needed to hear!  The next time I went for my doctor's visit, I informed the very cold nurse, as lovingly as I could, that I and the adoptive parents did not want this test done.  The tears welled up in her eyes as she shook her head in acknowledgement; she knew what I was telling her without actually telling her!

One of the problems that can occur with a diabetic mother is that the baby will grow too large in the womb.  That began to happen to my baby, and at 7 months along, the doctor said they needed me to go into the hospital for complete bed rest and total monitoring of my rest, medications, and food intake.  After two days in the hospital, the doctor decided it was time to take the baby and I had an emergency C-section.  This was very disappointing as it did not allow time for the adoptive couple to come for the delivery, which is what we had planned.  All went well, and I gave birth to a healthy strapping little boy who weighed in at 6 pounds, 7 3/4 ounces, and was 23 inches long.  I can't even imagine how big he would have been if I had carried him to full term, but I myself was a full-term baby who weighed 10 pounds, 3 ounces at birth.  My poor mother!

Because of medication I was given for the two days before the delivery, I could not see a thing in that delivery room.  The lights were way too bright and my vision was way too blurry, so when my son was born, I could not see him.  I heard him crying - that tiny little newborn cry - but my husband looked at him and said "he's all there", and that was sufficient for me!  I was so relieved and so happy that God had gotten me and my baby through this process, and we were alive and well.   (I think I forgot to mention I had this great fear that I would die from being pregnant and having diabetes.) 

As I lay there in the recovery area, I was praying and thanking God for a safe delivery.  I began to chuckle to myself and cry.  Soon, my laughter was almost uncontrollable as I was overwhelmed with the sense of God's presence there in that recovery area with me.  I knew I had just done the greatest thing I would ever do in my lifetime - I gave life to a child!

The adoptive parents arrived the next morning to greet their new son.  Oh, they were ecstatic - and that's putting it mildly.  They were so sweet and loving and kind to me, visiting me and bringing me small gifts like fresh fruit!  How desired that was after having nothing but Jello and sugar free ginger ale for two days!  They had fallen in love immediately upon seeing their son for the first time.  I went up to see the baby with them for the first time.  How precious that very first visit was.  I cried and they cried - but these were all tears of joy!  I was in the hospital for five days because of having diabetes and needing to be closely monitored.  My son was in the hospital for almost a whole month due to being premature.  He had not had enough time in the womb to develop the sucking mechanism it took to feed him through a bottle, and that was taking some real effort by the adoptive parents and the nursing staff to get him to feed.  I did not breast feed my son; that was not something I had a desire to do.  In fact, I was afraid to hold him!  I had never been around babies much and just didn't know what to do with him.  But this was just another reason why I had not felt that I could not raise this child - I just didn't feel that I had what it takes to be a parent. 

The adoptive parents stayed there for the whole month until "our son" was released.  They lived in another state and had to endure great sacrifice during this time, but they were filled with joy and excitement, and probably could not have been torn away from the baby.  When I finally went home from the hospital, the adoptive couple were the ones who took me home and pampered me for a few hours.  They were terrific, absolutely God-sent.  I knew I was going to miss them an awful lot when they left to go home, too, along with missing my baby. 

I had been praying during my pregnancy that God would give me a love for this child inside of me, but also that He would help me to let go when the time came.  And He did give me that strength.  Because the adoptive parents were there taking care of the new baby, i felt i was free from emotional stress during that time and could just go home and take care of myself and get my strength back and recuperate as much as I needed to.  My husband and  my friends were just terrific during this recovery time, too.  They nurtured me and really took good care of me.  When I felt the need to cry, I cried.  When I felt the desire to laugh, I laughed.  I could also just sit and be quiet, or just lay in my husband's arms and rest peacefully.  God had truly taken care of all my fears about this pregnancy and the upcoming departure of my baby and his new family.

On the day of their departure, I went to their hotel to see them off.  I got to feed my son for the first time.  It was such a beautiful time for he and I.  He just lay there very quietly looking up at me.  He was so still, so hungrily feeding from that bottle, yet gazing up at me as if to say "Hey, I know you, you're that lady who talked to me all these months, and fed me well, and kept me warm and comfortable, and prayed for me and let me kick and squirm around inside you."   His little dark eyes just seemd to be saying, "Thanks, mom".  I will always cherish those moments I had with him. 

Now, my son is 3 1/2 years old.  I have an open adoption, so I get to go and visit him twice a year.  I did not see him for the first year because when it was time for my first visit when he turned six months old, I was unable to go due to having some eye surgeries.  That problem I had had during my pregnancy was not just a simple thing that went away with the birth of my son.  I ended up having complications that led to me now being blind in one eye and legally blind in the other.  Diabetics often have problems with their eyes, and the stress of this unplanned pregnancy had done a lot of damage to my already weak system. 

But, praise God, I can still see enough to see my son - and alot more - and so I cherish my twice yearly visits with him and his parents.  We have a good relationship.  They are good to send me pictures and email updates.  They have already been talking to him about being adopted and how special he is.  At my last visit in 12/2007, my son asked me - in all this 3 year old wisdom - "Was I in your belly?"  He has become fascinated with pregnant women, and so he needed to know where he had come from!  That was all he wanted to know, and when I told him "yes, you were in my belly", he went back to playing in the sand of his sand box. 

There is much more I could tell, but will stop now.  If anyone has any questions, please feel free to email me.  I love to tell my story - our story - and share God's love and grace and mercy with anyone and everyone!   

Email: hewilkinson65@yahoo.com

 Send in your adoption story to be featured in our up coming months blog.  Our story's are very empowering, and KNOWLEDGE is power.  Also very healing.  Send to Email: Birthmothers@aol.com

Searching To Reunite? - Closed Adoption

Lucy Franklin, CPAC

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  1-888-803-4956

Lucy Franklin, C.P.A.C.

Are you searching to reunite with your b/son or b/daughter?  Are you prepared for the many emotions that will resurface upon finding this child?  Many Birth Mothers are not prepared for the roller coaster ride that finding the child/ that is now a Adult will cause.  This is information that I write about is not to scare you it is to encourage you and also let you know that

Lucy Franklin, CPAC of Birthmothersunite.com can help you in your post-adoption reunion affects. 

She is a trained Certified Post Adoption Reunion Coach.

Trained in the following:

Post Traumatic Stress in Birth Mothers

Birth Mother Trauma and Recovery

Core Patterns in reunion

Soul Healing in Adoption

Adoptee Trauma and Recovery

Reunion coaching for Birth Mothers, Adoptee's, and Adoptive Parents

Birth Mother Goals for Healing

You will identify and experience the range and intensity of feelings related to the loss.  To identify and to change maladaptive behavior patterns related to the loss.

To complete unfinished business and to reframe the loss of the past.

Total goal:  Your physical, Spiritual, and Emotional well being restored.