The Past

(¯`♥´¯) .♥.•*¨`* ♥.•
´*.¸.•´♥"STOP living in the PAST....LEARN from  It....ANALYZE your PRESENT & FOCUS on your FUTURE!!!!!!" I BELIEVE ....that our Background and Circumstances may have Influence who we are but we are RESPONSIBLE for Who we BECOME....♥

Quote: Mother Theresa - Spread LOVE



"Spread love everywhere you go: First of all in your own house...let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile."~Mother Teresa

I'll Be Happy When?

I'll be HAPPY WHEN?  Does this question pop into your mind often?  I will be the first to say I have had this one coming out of my mind and mouth often through out my 52 years of life.  As a teen I couldn't wait to be GROWN and married.  I did marry at the tender age of nineteen and that marriage ended quickly in divorce, All because of I'll be HAPPY WHEN!  That was when I was not suppose to have married.  I did not have the maturity to have taken on a marriage, Household and all the other responsibilities that come with being married and responsible at nineteen.  So there went my I'll be HAPPY WHEN right to divorce court at the age of twenty-one.  You know now looking back I was living my life LOST, Flying through as my Mother would say on my skirt tale, Or as my Father would say I lived my life to the beat of my OWN DRUM.  I FEARED NOTHING, Thought I was HAPPY, Even when I was chasing I'll be HAPPY WHEN!  No longer than separating from my hubby I was on the hunt for the NEXT LOVE to fill the void.  I'll be HAPPY WHEN!  That was my MOTTO.  Then in denial about my life and searching for LOVE, I am hit with an unplanned pregnancy.  Unplanned by me, But PLANNED by GOD!  No I am not some religious NUT.  I am not religious, I have this magnificent relationship with Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior.  He was going to rescue me through this pregnancy.  He knows how to get our attention.  He had mine FAST!  All the ugly stopped immediately when I found out that I was carrying my "PRECIOUS" as I called her.  Then My I'll Be Happy WHEN changed into a beautiful selfless focus.  Off of me and on to she.  I just felt all along that I was having a girl, and I did!  I focused on taking excellent prenatal care of myself.  The I'll be Happy when left my mind completely.  My confident through out the pregnancy was my immediate family and JESUS CHRIST!  I talked often to him day and night.  To give me the strength to make the best decision for my "Precious".  The answer to this came in my sixth month of pregnancy.  By staying in constant relationship with Jesus on a personal level.  He guided me and gave me straight from his word - Lucy for when you are WEAK I am STRONG.  That was my portion daily that is my portion to this day.  For when I am weak, MY JESUS IS FOREVER STRONG!  He lives in ME, he guides me to make RIGHT decisions.  I did listen to my Jesus, and made an adoption plan and placed my "PRECIOUS" with a FAMILY in 1981.  Born unto me this CHILD I BORE for ANOTHER MOTHER.  This child that I adored then and today.  I know longer say I'll be HAPPY WHEN?  For "HAPPY" is something you chase, Happy is just a feeling that cannot be achieved without disappointment.  What I am now is Content.  I am content rather my portion is MUCH or Small.  My peace does not come from this world, My peace comes from KNOWING that I am LOVED by my Creator - As God the Father, The Son and the Holy Ghost.

So When are you going to be HAPPY???  You don't have to wait for WHEN, You can have it all NOW! Everyday!  Seek the TRUTH, You shall find.  It's all in his word, The Holy Bible.

Right this very minute I am going through a TRIAL - The I'll Be Happy When's started!  I am facing TKR in both Knee's.  I am in constant extreme pain daily.  It wore me down emotionally and physically.  I was trying to get through it ON MY OWN!  I'd pray when I felt like it, but most often I was too worn down to pray.  So just like 30 years ago when I was in the unplanned, this severe osteo-arthritis bone on bone KNEEZLE problem as I call it broke me to go straight to the MIGHTY PHYSICIAN!  I began to pray, I spent all Sunday in constant communication with the MIGHTY PHYSICIAN Jesus Christ.  I had to lay it on the LINE, Repentance was first, I spewed it all out.  He knew, He already knew!  Because he KNOWS all and SEE's ALL.  Don't ever think for one minute that he doesn't.  He is just waiting for you to have enough faith and courage to bring it all to him, then TRUST.  My first surgery is planned for Oct. 17th.  I'll keep all updated.  I ask that you join me in this journey in prayer for my complete and quick recover.  I ask that if you have a NEED that you post that need here in the comments section.  We will join together in prayer, One for another!  He's listening.  He LOVES us unconditionally!  HE CARES, No When's about it!  He always CARES for his children!!!

    To pray is nothing more involved than to open the door, giving Jesus access to our needs and permitting "HIM" to exercise HIS own power in dealing with them.   O Hallesby

That God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ.
1 Peter 4:11

Thinking Adoption?



I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the
truth. 3 John 1:4 (NIV)

 

When I placed my daughter 30 years ago with a family.  My biggest request and demand.  Was the adoptive parents be CHRISTIANS.  That they live a Christian life.  Know Christ as their LORD and Savior.  That they also instill CHRISTIANITY in this Life that God created, That he allowed me to carry especially for them.  Even though it was a closed adoption.  Not what I would have liked, but that's all they had back in 1981 when I placed.  I am very thankful that the Agency I chose indeed honored me with that request.  She has had most of what I desired for her.  Not every placement will be perfect.  I can say for sure she has had a strong loving Christian MOTHER that has been through thick and thin with her children.  I admire her and I am thankful to this day for her.  I know my daughter loves her for she is the only mother she ever had.  A lot of Birth Mothers would be upset to hear this.  This doesn't upset me.  She has told me herself how much she LOVES her and how bonded they are.  This makes me very complete and happy.  Because then when I reflect on the choice so difficult to have made those thirty years ago.  It was the right choice,  I didn't make the choice on my own.  I sought God's guidance through out my pregnancy.  I wanted her well provided for.  A responsible birth mother will go the extra mile through out her pregnancy to make an adoption plan. Remember do not make the decision with your heart your heart will tell you to RUN with your baby.  You need to make it with a sound mind.  If you are in a crisis pregnancy find a CPC- Pregnancy Resources Center in your city.  Also you can call 1-800-395-HELP 24 x 7.  They will direct you to a CPC in your city also.    Successful adoption plans today are those that are honored through out by the triad. Meaning the triad works lovingly together for the best interest of the child. 

 

 

Faith

Thankfulness

Our Pastor spoke on GRUMBLING today, and THANKFULNESS!  I think I am going to work harder in that area.  Because God has provided for me, UP and over  MORE than I truly deserve.  I am not homeless, I never mess a meal.  I have a husband that does LOVE all me and my many personalities.  God wants US HUNGRY for him in a way that we FORGET this temporal LIFE.  See he Chose us at our creation in our Mothers WOMB,  He has his eye on us from that very day of conception till the last breathe we take in this life.  We ARE CHOSEN, It saddens him when those with free will, that hear the GOSPEL that know the truth but choose the secular WORLD  over the ALMIGHTY.  But he never gives up on us till that last breathe if you accept him you shall have eternal life.  My heart hurts for anyone that never gets the simple MESSAGE, For those that twist it and try to mold it into something different than what the scripture says: John 3:16 says it all!  I don't care about man made religion or what the world has made CHURCH into. The BIG EXPENSIVE HIGH TECH FEEL GOOD Church's!  It's NOT about us folks - Not about that little hour you spend there at Church.  Yes he is pleased you came, IT's about Relationship, Relationship, Relationship with Jesus. A Daily Hunger for him that you are transformed.  Just as the scripture speaks of, Once you receive Christ, He lives inside of you.  You become Christ LIKE.  NOT HAUGHTY, But HUMBLE, NOT BOASTFUL but meek and I am a lowly sinner, that seek those that are lost as I once was, He wants you to KNOW HIM. Churches need to focus on relationship with CHRIST and being humble and LOVING all people rather they are Christians or NOT.  For God will have the final say in all things!  I will never be perfect, But in his site I am BEAUTIFUL, I am the Kings Daughter!  I am ROYALTY.  Tears well up in my eyes.  When I think of all the ugly that I have committed in sin.  When I was lost and worldly.  But he never left my side.  I truly always felt his presence in my darkest hours.  Even when I felt that I couldn't do better, I KNEW without a doubt My Mighty God could!  Oh yeah, If you think you can't, Turn it over to God.  You don't have to beg, plead or ask over and over for the same prayer to be heard.  Just tell him!  Praise him! Then when he delivers his answer in his timing. REJOICE! Have FAITH, because some things I have asked for took YEARS to be answered.  But they were answered.  In his timing!  Trust the Master with your LIFE.  Always know that when you think God is not NEAR,  It's when he is the NEAREST!  Because he wants you to Trust and SEEK him DAILY.  Where are you in your relationship with Christ Jesus?  Go talk with him now about it all.  He is patiently waiting.



Ain't That Love - Adoptee Singing to BirthMother

God's Grace