Recently I started a Face book Page - Adoption Triad Research. Go there now and start following and participating. https://www.facebook.com/#!/AdoptionTriadResearch  This is for Birth Mothers, Birth Fathers, Birth Parents, Placed/ Adoptee, Adoptive Parents, Mothers, Fathers. I made this site, Together RESEARCH. It's 2015 Folks. It's time we as ADULTS share with great care and love. No BONES BARE please. I want this RESEARCH to bring the TRIAD together. We can't fix what we don't acknowledge! We can't move forward in what's the most important part of ADOPTION, The Baby, the Child, They are the most important. Yet in my experience of Counseling Adoptee's and also Being a First Mother myself. I know they hide a lot of emotions deep inside that they do not share with their Birth Families nor their Adoptive Parents, Which I really like to call their PARENTS. Because they are the only PARENTS they know. I believe God only chose me to be the vehicle to carry my bdaughter in the WORLD to provide her Now Mother and Father with the family they desired to have. God creates families uniquely. It's biblical. Jesus was adopted by Joseph. Moses was adopted by the Pharisee's.

I was recently ousted/ Told with great vigor that I was not WANTED on a I am
Adopted FB site. It was very sad, That the owner of the site lashed out at me. Telling me I had NO Idea what it was like to be ADOPTED!!!! Being a Birth Mother and Reunited for over 15 years now. I agree! I don't know. I was raised in my Bio-Family. It was a really awake up call to me. That besides all the statistics saying that Adoptive Children grow up with less problems then those raised by Single parents. Or Teen Moms. It really made me sad. To see that these Adult Adoptee's were in quite a lot of PAIN! Many searching for Bio Parents. Many Finding them being Rejected. Many with low self-esteem, Many that HATED being told that they were CHOSEN, The Adoptee didn't want to be CHOSEN, nor A gift! They just wanted to be LOVED like any bio child. They just wanted to know truths! That even to this day! I am appalled that Closed Adoptions make it like they were never born! No medical history.On and On. It's 2015 People! What you think worked then DID NOT. I am a advocate for Semi-Open Adoption. Why not Open you say. Well their is NO LAW that binds a Open Adoption. The Adoptive Parents can close that so called verbal agreement at anytime. As a Birth Mother of the Closed Adoption Era. I have paid a big PRICE for placing my bdaughter in 1981. I have had PSTD, Severe bouts of Depression. My bdaughter said in her own words, That it was a Celebration to her to reunite. But she hated when after a visit that she went to leave at the Airport I would Cry like a baby. It's the Primal Wound. I have it deeply. Because I am REAL. I am not denying that deep cellular pain that exist deep deep with in me. That will never heal till the Good Lord Brings me HOME to him. Only a Strong Survivor can Place and make an Adoption Plan for their baby, and only child as I did. It takes Great Selfless LOVE to place your baby with another family. A Birth Mother will do this at last result. Every time. Crisis! Only was my reason. She deserved a married two parent family, financially strong, She needed her Emotional, Physical and Spiritual needs all met. I needed to get my life back on track and together, Following a divorce.

We can not change the Triad unless their is open dialogue shared by the Triad. Being open and honest. Not on the attack. Just sharing and caring. For we all know that Adoption is very complex. Nothing about it is simple as an Agency or Private Lawyer would like you to believe. I for one went into Denial for years after placement. It was the only way I could handle what felt like a DEATH to me. Actually worst. For I knew she was out in the world. But WHERE??? Please go to the FB Adoption Triad Research page now. And way in.

Thank you, Lucy Franklin, C.P.A.C.

 

Open Adoption / When the triad works for the benefit of the child

I Give You To His Heart

7/30/2012 Today's Inspirational -Before You Speak Think

This really hit home for me today, When I saw this pic on FB.  I have been struggling with some LIFE issues with relatives.  We all have our opinions about this or that.  Some people I have encountered in Life be it friends or acquaintances or good OLD relatives are those that are black or white thinkers. A black or white thinker, Can not be open to an others opinion.  They will fight to the end. They are the GOOD OLD I am RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT FIGHTER!  They will run over you like a  bulldozer. I try to kill these type personalities with the last letter on THINK.  - K- is it kind?  Then I also back up and analyze with the N- is it necessary?  Now I love to be around those that use the I- as in Inspiring!  Upbeat and P- for positive people I surround myself with.  Also my motto is always be the H- Helpful with lots of humility.  Selfless.  So THINK before you speak- and use the T- for TRUE- Truth.  Wow what a beautiful world we would live in if we all spoke the truth.  No more catty low self-esteemed women would be out trashing others with deception and lies.  Let's all be awesome THINKERS!  Let's be women of value, High Esteem.  Let's be the CHANGE! 

C-  For I Challenge you to be the change!!!

H-  Be Humble

A-  Positive  Attitude

N-  Noble

G-  God's Light Shinning In the Darkness

E-  Now get Excited 

Where ever you are in your adoption journey.  Together we can be the Change.  We can stand united strongly together.  Those of us that have healed.  Can help those that have recently placed.  Birth Mothers Unite is a sisterhood.  That only another Birth Mother heart to heart can understand.  Because we together know what it is like to place the LOVES of our LIVES with a family.

God Has The Answers

Together for Adoption - Upcoming conference - Sept.14-15 - Atlanta, Ga

http://www.togetherforadoption.org/?page_id=11942

Do you ever feel "ALONE" Post-Adoption Placement Blues?

You made an adoption plan for your child to have a family.  To have their Emotional, Financial, and Spiritual needs met.  You "LOVED" an made the biggest sacrifice a woman can make.  To not think of self, But sacrifice your deep love for your baby "TO HAVE" all of it's needs met.  I have done the same as you.  I made that adoption plan in the sixth month of my crisis pregnancy over 30 years ago.  Now after the placement I was left with empty hands, a empty heart.  With my sane mind I knew I did the very best for her.  But, in all honesty if I would have went on heart feelings I would have ran with her.  To be with me, and she and I would have never been apart.  That was not God's plan.  Being the strong Christian Young Woman that I was at the time of her conception.  I knew deep in my heart with the very "LOVE, MERCY and Grace"  of my ALMIGHTY LORD AND SAVIOR that only "JESUS" could understand my post-adoption blues and pain.  Only JESUS could mend that hurt!  So deep was the loss and grief.  Only God's son could carry me through the pain and to the other side.  The scripture below carried me, It carry's me to this day in all my anxieties or trials in this life.

Philippians 4:6-11

New International Version (NIV)

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

If you are suffering post-adoption placement issues, Grief - Reach out to the many Resources available to you.  Contact http://www.birthmothersunite.com/   - Other awesome groups formed and doing amazing healing loving work for birth mothers and birth parents are Blessings in a Basket, Birth Mother Baskets, and http://www.justbirthparents.com/about.html No you are never alone.  Also check out http://birthmombuds.com/ .  Don't stay stuck.  Join in with us - we are all on facebook also.  My Birth Mothers Unite group is the official site.  There is another one that used the same name.  Both are fantastic online support groups. 

Remember in all things God has his own timing.  Like the above statement says.  I have learned in his timing he will take you places you never dreamed you could get nor achieve!  In his timing, All you have to do is have FAITH, Faith as small as a mustard seed.  Can even get you there!

Hope to see you or hear from you.  By Lucy Franklin, CPAC   http://www.birthmothersunite.com/