Don't forget US? A Birth Mother Never Forgets!

Society? What do they know about us? I have a real problem with how even today we are portrayed. Such misconceptions of Birth Mothers are. That we GIVE our babies away. I can't speak for all! I can only speak for myself and many that I have met via the Internet and through other venues.

Here are a lot of the belittling misconceptions:

Birth Mothers are all drug addicts.

Birth Mothers are poor and uneducated.

Birth Mothers are all sexually promiscuous!

Birth Mothers didn't want there children.

Blatantly these are false!

The list goes on and on. All are not fact. Most Birth Mothers I have met including myself. Very very much wanted are babies. If we had not wanted them, We could have chose the alternative of abortion. That thought never crossed my mind. I very much wanted her. I in my mind thought I would become a single parent after a divorce while I was 4 months pregnant. When I became 6 months pregnant. I began to realistically look at my life. I had no job. My only support was from my parents. I had worked up to my 6 month of pregnancy, But became sick with preeclampsia and toxemia. As I thought about all my unborn child would need. I put my heart aside. I consulted an agency. Started going through a process of making an adoption plan. This was 1981, Mind you. Before open adoption existed. Or I would have definitely chosen an semi or open adoption plan. I did have input on what type of family I desired for her, What level of education, financial well being etc. You can read my testimonial in the testimonial section of Birth MothersUnite, click on the navigator at the top.

I have another pet peeve. Open adoption should be honored by adoptive parents with Birth Mother or B/parents. Have an agreement in writing and in place. So much damage is done when the adoptive parents agree upon an open adoption then quickly slam the door closed on the birth mothers and or birth parents. This is very unhealthy for the triad. Most of all the child. I for one like semi-open adoption. For I am very very protective of the innocent child. One should never confuse this innocent one. They had nothing to do with there birth circumstances. They are God's gift to be cherished, nurtured and given everything they deserve - emotionally, physically and spiritually. So adoptive parents to love your new baby is to do this. You do this by honoring the original semi or open adoption agreement. Always remember that Love is Patient, Love is Kind. Love should be the golden rule in adoption and the triad.

By Lucy Franklin, CPAC